If you haven’t noticed by now, I love pulling bits and pieces of different culture and time periods hospitality and using them to curate my home. There are some things that I think are seriously lacking in our homes especially since most of us didn’t have anyone over or really any social interaction whatsoever outside of our families for the majority of 2020. This year there are a few things that I’d love to bring back into my home.
My cousin is the sweetest. Every time I go to her house she has an array of pastries already cooked, iced tea in the fridge, and is ready and willing to have me sit on her porch and talk for hours even if I just stop by uninvited. I love how open her home is. People used to stop by their friends and families homes all the time. Of course, it’s hard to know if there is someone home nowadays, and I’m not necessarily suggesting that we as a community of good hosts and hostesses make a point to never leave our homes and be ready on deck at all times with cookies! But I am suggesting that we make intentional plans to spend time with friends and family and that those plants do not always have to be centered around meals. Invite a friend over for some tea on your back porch. Invite a sister over for a mid-morning cup of coffee in the living room. Call up a friend every time you make a sweet treat and offer to drop some off at their doorstep.
On the topic of baking sweets and sharing food with friends, I love making food for new neighbors. I don’t know when this stopped being a thing. I remember when I was 8 or 9 and this couple moved in down the street, my mom and I walked down some cookies to introduce ourselves and welcome them to the neighborhood. In our last apartment, I got our neighbors gifts for Christmas, Easter, and dropped off a care package when a neighbor’s dog passed away. We are probably the youngest people in our whole building, and these acts of hospitality that I thought were standard were seen as out-of-the-blue and overwhelmingly kind! I’m not mentioning them for a pat on the back or anything like that, but to encourage you to do something neighborly. Another neighbor in my parent’s neighborhood walked around and gave out black-eyed-pea salsa on New Year’s Eve to introduce herself to the neighborhood by sharing a salsa that she had grown up eating. If you are moving soon, don’t be afraid to introduce yourself to your new neighbors! Maybe host a cocktail party. You can check out my blog post on how to host a cocktail hour by clicking here.
My niece has some friends that are Russian. She told me that something she really loves and admires about their culture is that they rarely say “I can’t I have ____ with my family.” Instead they say “my family and I are doing this, would you like to join?” I love that. I feel like my mom raised me really similarly. I never feel weird inviting someone to spend time with my family, and most my family never minds if there’s all of the sudden an extra place setting at the table. Friends are family and that is such a fantastic value to have. Everyone in your inner circle who is important to you and to your life in the same place just feels so fulfilling and comforting.
Maybe it’s a stigmatization, maybe it’s accurate, maybe it’s (like most things) only applicable to specific people, but our generation (millennial to gen z) often get accused of living out lives through our phones. I think that it can be very easy to hide behind our screens especially when we get into social situations that are particularly overwhelming. I want to challenge you, if this applies to you, to practice intentionality with the people around you. Set a boundary of time to spend with your friends, family, etc. and discipline yourself to be 100% present with them for that set amount of time. That is such a beautiful value to instill in your home and your life, to be present with those around you.
Anyways, thank you for coming to my ted talk (I wish I could include emoji’s in these blog posts because I would have totally added the laughing-cry face right there). There are so many beautiful seemingly old-fashioned things we can instill in our lives, but those are the main ones on my mind today as I write this. I’d love to hear from you if you took the time to read this. What is your favorite “old-fashioned” value? What do you implement while spending time with friends and family that you don’t think is common? Comment down below and let me know!